“Lalit Modi works an 80-hour week or summat like that. He’s never even managed to watch a whole IPL game – only fragments. This is his world. He doesn’t realise that most of the rest of us are lucky if we put in eight hours of actual work in an entire working week. A Test match, played during the daytime, is the best way of avoiding work that there is. That is the modern world, Lalit; a world that revolves around the internet and finding ways to slack off” – King Cricket sets Lalit Modi right, on this and a few other things.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
“There are bats that sound like condom brands from the 1970s: the Choice Willow Black Prince; the Salix Pod Performance; the Fearnley Magnum Ultimate; the Gray-Nicolls Ignite Pro-Performance; the Adidas Libro Elite; The Bradbury M Players; the Surridge Duke… Best of all, there are the incomprehensible: the Puma Iridium; the Adidas Incurza; the Newbery Mjolinar; the Gray-Nicolls Xiphos” – The Old Batsman has received his first equipment catalogue of the season.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
“An exciting opportunity has arisen for the right individual to assist Graeme in taking South African cricket to the next level, and also with any other odd jobs he might have that need doing” – Alan Tyres pens a job ad on behalf of the South African national squad.
The Indian Ambassador is expected to be summoned to the Foreign Office amid a growing row over Phil “The Cat” Tufnell’s shock exclusion from the Indian Premier League.
“I’m going to score my maiden test century tomorrow… you heard it here first” – the irrepressible Graeme Swann, ever the optimist, on Twitter last night.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
The Nurdler was rather amused to see a website full of spoofs of Conservative leader David Cameron’s recent airbrushed advertising billboard – and even more interested to see there was a downloadable template so we could make our own. So here it is.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
“A Sydney third-grade bowler has taken two hat-tricks in an innings as North Sydney were bowled out for a record low score of just eight”- report in Australian publication The Age.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
“Covent Garden square, 1.30 [today]. I’ll be handing out sweets, so long as you’re over sixteen for legal reasons” – Far from being banned from Twitter, Graeme Swann and Jimmy Anderson are organising their own head-to-head Tweet-off in London today.
“Don’t talk to me about hard work, lad. When I were your age I toiled down the pit for 27 hours a day, then ran over to Scarborough in the freezing rain to bowl 45 overs into a gale, then went in as nightwatchman in the pitch black and had to face Wes Hall with nothing but a Garibaldi to protect meself and when I got back in the dressing room Brian Close would beat us within an inch of my life and then and only then was I allowed to start on the double-entry book-keeping” – Alan Tyres pens the thoughts of the Yorkshire Cricket Club bursar as they might relate to Matthew Hoggard.
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